Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Since tomorrow is our 3rd anniversary, I thought I’d write a little bit about SleepyHusband and me.

We met in college in a language class. It took me a couple of weeks to notice him, since he always sat all the way in the back and, ahem, missed classes here and there. Once I noticed him, I really noticed him. Partly because his hair was long and crazy curly, but also because he was cute and really good at talking the teacher into giving us less homework.

We were both clearly interested, but it took awhile to do anything about it because he was a senior in his spring semester so most of his social life revolved around hitting the bars with his friends. I was only 20 at the time, so no bars for me. Eventually his roommate, who was also in our class and apparently also interested in me (awkward), called and invited me to hang out with them. We ended up at a party, had our first real conversation, and the rest was history.

This was a little over seven years ago. He graduated, but moved back to the area to see where things would go between us. It was big, him moving halfway across the country solely because of me. I wasn’t nervous about it though, it really just strikes me now as being a little crazy. We’d only gotten together in April, and been apart all summer. We weren’t even really “serious” before I left for the summer. When I found out he was coming, however, I was 100% happy about it. Being young college/just out of college kids, we had a few ups and downs. As of my senior year we were together for good.

We moved in together when I graduated after about 2 1/2 years of dating. We were engaged 1 1/2 years after that, and married only 6 or 7 months later thanks to my mother’s crazy wedding planning skills (more than one of my friends asked if she was renting out her services). We spent our first year of marriage in another country. Can’t believe it’s been 3 years, it’s cliche but time really does go so fast. Soon, SH will be entering his last year of his 20’s.

Tomorrow we are going to the aquarium, and then a restaurant. No clue where we are going to eat yet. I’ve been poking around restaurant ratings. We want to try something new instead of the same old favorites. They are favorites for a reason, but the same places year after year get a little stale. As I’ve gotten older I’ve also found that fine dining to a college kid isn’t necessarily fine dining at all.

Like any couple, we have our arguments and flaws. I’m always reading that men want to solve problems while women just want to be able to vent and get some sympathy. It is the opposite with us, I want to solve every problem logically while SH sometimes just wants to complain about something without getting 20 suggestions of how he can fix it thrown at him. Despite this, we’ve been happy together and I think we will continue to be happy together.

SH and I have an in joke together that we have to ask for relationship extensions. Marriage was at least a two year contract, with extensions given when the current contract runs out on our anniversary. Right now we are debating whether we should have a one year or two year extension. Of course none of this is serious, just teasing. But I think the two year extension is looking good 🙂


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I’m just tired lately. Having two jobs is stressful, and I’m only just getting a handle on things. Starting a new job is challenging no matter what. Starting that job when I could only give it half my attention was rough. It wasn’t the time commitment so much as the learning curve that threw me. I haven’t had a job quite like this before, and to be honest I wasn’t prepared for it to be so different.

The other thing I wasn’t expecting was how much the Jewish holidays would throw off my class. It was hard to plan a whole semester’s worth of papers and other assignments. Add that to no one mentioning the fact that two of the three students are Orthodox Jews, and I’ve revised that initial plan about 20 times. September is a big month for their major holidays, so I’ve been scrambling. For one or two of them, they just just missed the actual day. But for other holidays they had fasting, long nights, etc.

For awhile there was something else bothering me that I couldn’t put my finger on. There was a source of stress I wasn’t seeing, something that was bringing me down. It took awhile, but I finally figured out that my dear, darling husband was the cause. H worked while I was unemployed for 8 months, and then after I did get a job he eventually picked up extra work where I worked. He has also been struggling with a mild illness for awhile. Him being stressed and leaning on me had become our pattern, but it wasn’t working anymore now that I was dealing with my own busy life.

This all came to me in a rush about a week ago when I was listening to a familiar refrain from him about how stressed he was, blah blah blah. I finally said, “you know what, I’M stressed.” H responded with, “wait, you ARE? Tell me!”

Despite his initial reaction, it isn’t like he’s been my knight in shining armor ever since. More like my knight in whiney armor. Oh, not that bad, but I can never resist a crappy pun. I like to think we are getting somewhere, falling into this pattern is on both of us. But my patience is thin right now. Sometimes I would just like to spent a chunk of time leaning on him for a change. Maybe that day is when he gets healthy again, but he’s been really bad at following the diet, schedule, etc. he needs to follow. It really isn’t anything extreme, and he isn’t really very sick, but it does suck to feel uncomfortable all the time or constantly watch what you eat.

I think we are both just a pair of moaning minnies right now. We have a long weekend starting tomorrow, I think that will help. We can divide it up between the usual daft amount of cleaning and some actual relaxation. Last weekend was fun, but busy and occasionally stressful fun.

Ok, out of my system. I try not to just blog when I am pissed about something, so I sometimes actively avoid it when I am pissed about something. But I gotta vent somewhere and I have to stop giving H the hairy eyeball every time he mentions the room is chilly or he stubbed his toe or something 🙂

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